


Merry Christmas, Cabbage Head

by vix_spes



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, In-Laws, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:25:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2663537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vix_spes/pseuds/vix_spes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To say that Merlin was unhappy about spending Christmas with Uther Pendragon was putting it mildly…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry Christmas, Cabbage Head

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nomical](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomical/gifts).



> This is a combination of two of your prompts (the gang getting ready for the holidays and first Christmas with their partners family). I’ve had great fun writing it so I hope you enjoy it!! Huge thanks to alafaye and thedragonsinger for beta-ing.

“What do you mean we’re spending Christmas at your parents’ house?” Merlin was well-aware that his horror at this piece of news was clearly audible but, given the fact that his life-giving first mug of coffee was currently pooling around his feet, he couldn’t really bring himself to care. “We never spend Christmas with your parents!”

Arthur paused in the process of eating his breakfast to look up at Merlin in confusion. “I thought you liked my parents?”

“Arthur, are you a complete cabbage head? You thought I liked your parents? Correction, I like your mum. Ygraine is lovely. In fact, she is an absolute goddess for staying married to your dad. Your dad, on the other hand, would be very happy if I had never existed. He refers to me as ‘the one with the ears’, Arthur! How is that going to go well?”

As he spoke, Merlin became increasingly aware that the hems of his pyjama bottoms were starting to soak up the lukewarm coffee but he couldn’t move thanks to his bare feet and the shards of his mug scattered around him. He could try and jump over them but given that he was prone to clumsiness even when he was fully caffeinated, that probably wasn’t the best idea. Instead, he opted for boosting himself up to sit on the counter, his legs dangling as though he were a teenager in his mum’s kitchen.

“Why are they even spending Christmas in England?” Merlin asked, “I thought your father normally insisted on spending it skiing somewhere like Gstaad or somewhere else obnoxiously posh? Somewhere with snow.”

Merlin squirmed and yelped as he tried to avoid Arthur’s half-hearted swat at his comment. “Okay, okay! I’m sorry! Seriously though, why aren’t they off skiing somewhere?”

“Why do you think? Morgana’s due to give birth in the next two weeks and they don’t want to miss the first Christmas of their first grand-child.”

“But, assuming Morgana gives birth on her due date, the baby will only be a month old! It won’t know that it’s Christmas! And your father isn’t exactly going to be appearing on posters depicting the perfect family…”

“Do you want to tell that to Morgana and my mother?” Arthur raised an eyebrow imperiously, knowing precisely what Merlin’s answer would be.

“No, I don’t have a death wish.” Morgana had absolutely terrified Merlin the first few times he had met her until he had gotten to know her better. She could still terrify him now but at least he knew that she liked him.

“Sensible man.” Arthur grinned up at Merlin from his seat at the kitchen table. Arthur also had a healthy fear of his sister and, having heard some of the stories about the two of them growing up from Ygraine, Merlin didn’t blame him.

Draining his cup of coffee, Arthur stood and started to clear up the mess of shattered mug and cold coffee. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I know this wasn’t how you were intending on spending Christmas.”

“It’s fine. It’ll be nice to spend it with your mum as well as Morgana and Leon. It was going to be a bit weird anyway with Mum and Dad being away but I guess I was just looking forward to spending the time with Elena, Gwaine and everybody else.”

“Well, maybe in that case we can sort something out and spend New Year with them instead? I promise we’re just going to spend the bare minimum of time at mum and dad’s; I’ve only got a couple of days off shift anyway. I have a double shift tonight so I need to go finish getting ready. Say hi to Elena for me and we can talk about it more tomorrow? Love you.” With a swift peck to the lips, Arthur was gone, leaving a bemused Merlin still perched on the worktop.

(~*~)

“Elenaaaaaa!” Merlin flopped down opposite his good friend and co-worked Elena Godwin with a whine. “I have to spend Christmas with _Uther._ I hate my life.”

Elena’s response was to simply shove an enormous mug of hot chocolate across the table, complete with lashing of whipped cream, caramel sauce, marshmallows, and a chocolate flake. “I thought they were normally off skiing? Tell me everything.”

Merlin and Elena were the reception teachers for Albion Primary School and were absolutely adored by all of their small charges. The two of them had met up with the intention of buying all of the extra little bits that they needed for the Christmas nativity and all of the art projects that they were going to be doing up until the end of term.

“Apparently, because Morgana could pop at any moment, they’ve decided that they want to be here for the baby’s first Christmas. It’s probably Ygraine who’s put her foot down; I can’t imagine Uther being this sentimental, even if it is his first grandchild.”

“Yeah, Uther and sentimental aren’t two words that really go together, are they?” Elena had met Uther several times before on account of the fact that her father did business with Uther so she understood Merlin’s feelings towards the man. “So, you’re not going to be with us for Christmas?”

“No.” Merlin knew that he was sulking and pouting like some of his five year olds, but he didn’t really care. Gwaine, Elena’s husband and a good friend of Merlin and Arthur, was an amazing chef who ran his own restaurant and had been talking about what he was going to cook for weeks now, to the point where Merlin had been salivating at just the thought of all the food, and now he had to miss it. “Arthur suggested that we do something for New Year instead? The restaurant will be closed, won’t it?”

“It is. We’ll just do New Year’s instead. Gwaine can come up with a whole new menu, he’ll love it. And okay, so Christmas with Uther wasn’t what you wanted, but at least you’ll have Leon for company; he likes Uther as much as you do.”

“True. But the difference between Leon and I is that Uther approves of Leon; he’s exactly the kind of son-in-law that Uther envisioned. And Arthur and I aren’t married.”

“Correction, you aren’t married yet. That may be true about Leon, but at least you aren’t going to be on your own at the in-laws. Come on, drink your hot chocolate and we’ll try and get as much shopping done before you sink into a diabetic coma. If you still want to mope when we’re finished, I’ll take you to the restaurant for Gwaine to feed you before we go over the script for the Nativity play.”

“Deal. And I will definitely still want to mope. Christmas with _Uther_. And Arthur’s working a double shift today. Tell Gwaine I expect his most chocolaty pudding.”

“I’ll text him right now.”

(~*~)

The following morning, Merlin woke feeling as though he was in bed with an electric heater; he was almost suffocating in the heat. Too much good food made by Gwaine had clearly sent him into a food coma because he hadn’t even woken up when Arthur had crawled into bed at some ungodly hour having finished his shift. It was Arthur who was doing the job of the electric heater; he had wrapped himself around Merlin like an octopus, completely enfolding him in Arthur’s limbs and then ensconcing them both with the heavy duvet. Wanting to treat Arthur, knowing that a double-shift at the hospital on a Saturday night would have been brutal, Merlin tried to squirm out of Arthur’s embrace only for the grip to tighten and Arthur to protest sleepily.

“Nooo, stay here. Sleeeeeeep!”

Merlin laughed and turned slightly to press a kiss to Arthur’s forehead. “You go back to sleep, I’m just going to go and make us some breakfast. I figure we can spend the day on the sofa doing nothing.”

That seemed to convince Arthur and he allowed Merlin to extract himself from Arthur’s octopus limbs. Merlin had barely reached the door before Arthur was poking his head out of his cocoon and calling out, “B'fast in bed. 's an order”

Merlin rolled his eyes but smiled fondly. “ _Yes, Sire.”_

By the time the middle of the afternoon rolled out, they had just about managed to make it to the couch in the living room but were still dressed in their pyjamas and snuggled under a blanket that Hunith had made them. Black Books was on the TV and, if they could be bothered, they'd venture out to their local who did a cracking Sunday roast and inevitably fight each other over who got the stuffing. These were the kind of days that Merlin loved and they didn't happen nearly enough what with Arthur's demanding job in the local A&E not to mention the hours that Merlin put in during term time, there were some weeks where they were like ships in the night. Merlin didn't like those weeks. Thankfully, they didn't happen all that often.

They were halfway through the third season of Black Books when Arthur spoke up.

"Are you really disappointed about spending Christmas with my parents? I mean, I know I sprang it on you before you'd even had your morning coffee but...."

It was only because Merlin had known Arthur for years that he could detect the faint hurt in Arthur's voice and he knew he was going to have to tread carefully.

"It's not that I'm disappointed, I just really wasn't expecting it. I mean, we've been living together for three years now and they've never shown any interest in the whole family Christmas thing. Since we moved in, we've always spent Christmas with mum and dad. Last year Morgana and Leon came with us! They didn't go to Val wotsit with your parents. And, I mean, I can understand them coming with Morgana as pregnant as she is but, I don't know. I guess Christmas with your dad doesn't fill me with joy."

"Do you really think he hates you that much?"

"Once again, he refers to me 'as the one with the ears' or 'the village idiot'. Honestly, I think he's still waiting for you to get married and give him pretty blond babies."

"What if I get him to behave? Mum will make him toe the line if I say something to her. Will you come then?"

"Arthur, I was always going to come but if Ygraine can make him behave then that would be amazing. Besides, it's all sorted; we're spending New Year with Elena and Gwaine now."

"Thank you Merlin. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"You owe me the best present for this, you know that?"

"Don't worry; I've already got something in mind…."

Merlin’s frown at Arthur’s cryptic comment soon disappeared when Arthur decided to distract him with kisses.

~*~

_Two weeks later…_

“Merlin?”

Merlin looked up from the Christmas cards he’d been writing for his students to take home at the sound of Morgana’s voice from the doorway.

“Morgana! What are you doing here? Are you allowed to be out? Where’s Leon?”

Morgana rolled her eyes and walked further into the room, gracefully side-stepping the dripping pots of paint that Merlin had yet to clean up and bouncing the baby in her arms slightly. “Merlin, I gave birth, not had life-saving surgery. I needed to get out of the house before I went crazy. As for Leon, I reminded him that I spent nearly twenty-four hours in labour with Gaheris and, as such, I expected better presents than usual.”

Merlin couldn’t help but chuckle. “Don’t ever change Morgana. So, that explains where your husband is. I assume he’s taken Arthur with him?”

“I suggested that they could help each other. I also suggested that Arthur needed to buy you something good in order to make up for the fact that he was making you spend Christmas with our father.”

“ _Morgana!_ ” If he was honest, Merlin wasn’t completely surprised by Morgana’s words as she had a notoriously fractious relationship with the man who had raised her. “So, what are you doing here?”

“Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. You know how much I adore you? I need you to look after Gaheris for an hour for me. Please?”

“What? Why? Why me? Why not Ygraine? She’d be delighted to look after him for you. She’d be so delighted; you probably wouldn’t get him back. I don’t know how to look after a baby. I’ll probably drop him or do something stupid.”

“I know. I know and trust me, there will be times when I will happily offload him on his doting Nana, but unfortunately, Ygraine and Uther are at a gala reception so that isn’t an option. I just need an hour to go and collect some presents. And you work with children every day. He’s just a bit younger than the ones you normally work with.”

“But, but…”

“Merlin, it’s an hour. He’s been fed, he’s asleep, and you should be absolutely fine. I’ll be back in an hour.” Morgana dumped the bag that she’d been carrying over her shoulder on the floor with a thump and carefully placed her son in Merlin’s arms. “You can bond with your new nephew if he wakes up. If there are any problems, just give me a ring and I’ll come straight back.”

Then Morgana was gone, leaving Merlin standing in his classroom awkwardly clutching the baby, an enormous bag of baby paraphernalia at his feet. “Looks like it’s just you and me then, Gaheris. Let’s just hope that I don’t drop you; your mama would make sure I wouldn’t see Christmas.”

~*~

By the time that Merlin reached the end of term four days after Morgana’s impromptu visit, he was ready to curl up under the duvet and sleep for the entirety of the Christmas holiday never mind psych himself up to go and spend Christmas with Uther. It was always the same though. He ended the term with glitter seemingly permanently adhered to him (and even in places that he hadn't thought it possible to get glitter, at least since he had stopped visiting the clubs) and already sick of mince pies. Still, he thought that this year's parents were the most generous yet; he had got a present and card from every single student in the class. He and Arthur weren't going to need to buy chocolate for at least six months and there were more than a few bottles of alcohol as well which were always appreciated.

He and Arthur had an agreement in that Merlin was allowed to slob around and do nothing the first day of the holidays and then that was it - he was then an active participant in Christmas. That meant buying and wrapping presents and preparing whatever food he had decided to take as their contribution to Christmas dinner. Normally, Arthur was in a flap about buying presents but not so this year. Arthur had been more secretive than normal since he got home from the shopping trip with Leon but Merlin had been so stressed in the run-up to the nativity play that he hadn’t pushed it too much and now he was starting to wonder if he had imagined things. Now that he had time to think about it (and realise that he hadn't been imagining things), Merlin was starting to worry.

Arthur and presents weren't a good combination. Mainly because the blond was completely useless at finding suitable presents. In five years, Merlin had amassed quite the collection of ridiculous, stupid and quite frankly bizarre presents from Arthur for birthdays, Christmas' and anniversaries. The worst one had to be the very first Christmas present Arthur had bought him. It looked as though it had been it was a reject from a Medieval Christmas fair; a velvet monstrosity with a couple of feathers thrown in for good measure. Merlin genuinely hadn’t known what to do with it but Arthur had been genuinely oblivious as to how horrific it was. Arthur was still completely unaware that the hat was now a permanent part of Albion Infant School’s annual Nativity play.

As a result, Merlin was officially in charge of buying presents, both his family and Arthur’s. Morgana took care of things as far as her presents were concerned; Arthur was issued with a very specific list of presents that would be suitable complete with precisely where he could buy them. Obviously, Arthur bought his own present to Merlin but, thankfully, under Leon’s careful guidance they had got slightly better in the last few years. All Arthur was required to do was come shopping with Merlin, hand over his share of the money and carry the bags. All in all, it was a very efficient system and one that Merlin swore by.

~*~

_Christmas Day_

Looking around the sitting room, Merlin couldn’t deny that Ygraine had done a beautiful job of decorating the Pendragon townhouse. Everything was colour coordinated and not a single decoration was out of place. Merlin knew how much work Ygraine had put into this and couldn’t help but admire that (and the fact that she had done it all herself), but he couldn’t help but miss the chaotic decorations of his own childhood. The Christmas tree at his mum and dad’s had always been comprised of old hand-me-down decorations that his parents had had for years and were falling apart as well as a multitude of glittery monstrosities that Merlin had made during childhood. If Merlin peered closely at the tree, he could see that there were a few handmade decorations hung on the tree, obviously kept and cherished by Ygraine. There were also so many presents under the tree that Merlin felt as though his eyes were going to pop out of his skull. He just hoped that Morgana and Leon weren’t going to let Gaheris grow up spoilt.

He also resisted the urge to go rummaging under the tree for his own presents. Arthur had been irritatingly smug ever since that shopping trip with Leon when Merlin had been left holding the baby and had been dropping hints left, right and centre that had left Merlin more confused than ever. What was Arthur trying to imply with his words? More pressingly, Merlin still had nearly two days left to spend with Uther Pendragon. The man seemed to hate him more than ever. He had greeted Merlin with the words ‘Oh, it’s you’ less than three hours earlier. How did it get worse than that? Still, Merlin was determined to try and enjoy himself. Uther was one person out of five, six if you counted Gaheris, and he liked them all far more than he disliked Uther. There was always lashings of champagne and copious sarcastic comments from Morgana which helped.

Arthur’s strange behaviour over the last few weeks became clear after they had made it through dinner and had opened an obscene amount of presents for Gaheris. Merlin did feel rather smug that Gaheris had refused to release his iron-grip on the stuffed dragon that Merlin had selected as part of the gift from himself and Arthur. Once all of Gaheris’ gifts were opened, all of the adults had exchanged presents and, wonder of wonders, Arthur had managed to buy Merlin a present that wasn’t truly horrific although Merlin was putting that entirely down to Leon’s influence. And then, Arthur was getting up and demanding silence from everyone, even going to the extent of turning off the TV.

“Merlin, now that you’ve survived Christmas with my family without killing me or them, or running off … all of which would have been totally understandable, I have one more present for you. Or, rather, I have your real present. Well, I have one more thing to ask you… I suppose whether it counts as a present or not depends on your answer.”

“What do you mean …” Uther’s sentence was cut off as he received an elbow in the ribs from his wife and Morgana stomped hard on his foot.

Their actions earned them a confused frown from Merlin. Was there something going on that he didn’t know about? Thirty seconds later, their interaction would have proved unnecessary as Uther choked when Arthur went down on one knee and produced a jewellery box from his pocket.

“Merlin, if you had asked me five years ago in that club if I would ever think that we would get past our first date, I would have called you crazy. After all, you did call me an arrogant prat and threw your drink over me. But, we did make it through the first date and, as cliché as it is, the last five years have been the best five of my life. I love coming home to glitter all over the kitchen table, even if I do find it in ridiculous places seemingly weeks later. I love the fact that you choke down whatever I try and cook despite the fact that it’s normally a burnt mess. I love the fact that you give me foot massages when I’ve had a double shift and I love the way that you smile at me first thing ever morning. I even love your ridiculous ears. I love you. Even if you do still call me a clotpole.”

“I called you a cabbage head the other day,” Merlin couldn’t help but add with a grin.

“Yes, I know you called me a cabbage head. You’ve called me it several times as though I’m one of your five year olds. Merlin, you’re not really helping here. Can I continue please?” Arthur waited a mere fraction of a second before he continued. “Merlin Emrys, as I said, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Merlin was completely frozen. He didn’t know what to do. Had Arthur really just proposed to him? And in front of his whole family no less! Arthur wanted to marry him! What did he say? Well, he knew what he wanted to say, he just couldn’t get his mouth to cooperate and form the necessary words. He just continued staring at Arthur, positive that he was gaping unattractively, until Arthur had to prompt him.

“Merlin, seriously? Can you give me an answer? I’m starting to feel a bit nervous now. Put me out of my misery … my knees are starting to ache.”

So maybe it wasn’t the Christmas that he had wanted, but, well, he’d be lying if he didn’t say that, everything else aside, the proposal meant that this had suddenly become one of the best Christmas’ ever.

“Yes, of course I’ll marry you, clotpole!”

**Author's Note:**

> If you would prefer to comment on LJ, you can do so [here](http://vix-spes.livejournal.com/178699.html)


End file.
